I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
