Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
