What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
