That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
there was a trapeze. enough said
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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