Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas