I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
