so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
