My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
