i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
