OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
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In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
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Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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