with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
