I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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