Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
