I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
