My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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