the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
