he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
