Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
