did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
