we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
People with herpes should wear stickers.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
