After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize