I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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