Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
