Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
