That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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