4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
