you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
