Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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