And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
