Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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