I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I want to have your abortion
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize