i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize