its not stalking. its research.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
