Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize