They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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