...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
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i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
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She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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