people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
