In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
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Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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