i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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