I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
