Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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