she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
