Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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