A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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