literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
