break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
