dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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