honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize