I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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