Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
