i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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