nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
