The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
