I'm lost and stupid without you.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
