I want to have your abortion
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Farmville is her only friend.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
