I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
