What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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