She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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