white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
