She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
