God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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